Around and Around I May Go
Searching In Places That May Say No
Twirling And Spinning Together
No One Is Winning Forever

Laughing With Tears Of Joy
Crying Of Pain And Woe
Dancing In The Spring
Waiting To Be Dragged Back
With Nothing To Bring

Ripping The Wholesome Flesh
Eating and Tearing Is the Fest
Wiping Away the Blood And Tears
Abstract Against My Background Of Fears

Lies And Cheats
Nothing Escaping These Beats
Slowly Writing My Life Away
With Nothing Left To Stay

Is There Such a Thing As Love?
Why Does It Exist In This Hopeless World?
The Pain Of Being Heart Broken Cannot Be Compared To The Joys Of Being With Your One. The Love That You May See Is Just Fake. Many Lovers Going Back And Forth.
They Say Oh I Love Him So Much!
Lies.
Fakes.
Cheaters.
Can't There Just Be One?
Why Can't I Hear Someone Say Oh We Have Been Together For 8 Months?
All I Hear Is Oh We Have Been Together For 3 Weeks! ..And He Is The One For Me. Stupid bastards. How Would You Know That?. Sure I Can Understand If He Is Like A Total ass To You. But You Should At Least Be Friends With Them Before You Be Like OMG! Wanna Go out? ...It May Help If You Really Want To Find Someone. But If You Are Just Fooling Around, Then What Is The Point? You Don't Love It's Just A cheap Word. I Hate It How People Say Hate Is Powerful Word But So Is Love. Yet People Just Toss It Around Carelessly. There Are People Who Really Want To Love. But Others To Ruin Their Joy. I Feel For Your Pain, Yet I May Not Have Experienced It.

My Unclear World...
Flashing By My Eyes. No Life To Be Controlled. Or To Be Dominated.
No Point In Obeying. With No Future To Wish Upon.
Images That The World's Mind Sees, Pry Upon Our Weak Individual Way's Of Life. They Torture What Hope We Have Left, To Destroy Our Self-Esteem.
To Make Us Feel Hopeless, To Make Us Feel Worthless. To Watch Us Break Down And Die. The Conflicts That Are Brought Upon By Others, Attack Us With Raw Unbeatable Strength. With The Abilities Given To Us, We Can Fight. Many Of Us Choose To Fight, Some Of Us Choose To Give In. With The Thoughts Of Suicide Swimming In Your Brain, You Cheat And Lose. Forever We Fear Death, No Matter What We Are Told. Our Conscious Minds Have No Power To Block Those Images And Thoughts Of Death. We Live In Fear. We Are Frightful Of Ourselves. What Overwhelming Power We Have Obtained, But Cannot Dispose.

Disturbed, We Fight Blind.

I See My Life As A Blur.
It's Fake. Out Of My Grasp Of Control. Inside This Mind Is Noting Of Usage.
It's Dead. I Killed My Inner Joy. I Have No Motivation, But Not Enough Strength.
No Point In Killing Myself. I Mean I Just Walk Alone, Empty. Afraid Of My Death.
Life Is A Point Where You Learn Just How to Die. Where You Bring Misery And Love To Everyone Around You. Too Intense For Those Weak Individuals.
It's Not Real.
Why should It Be Anyways?

The Pain I See With These Corrupted Eyes, Scar Me Internally.
The Lies That Breathe Down My Spine. Bring These Hateful Words To Tongue.
Those Lies Are Nothing, They Bring You Pain And confusion. No Point. The death You Bring With Lies. The Covers That Are Attached Within Everyone. The Circles You Must Face with Each and Every Untruthful Word Said. You May Save A Life, But You May Also Kill Many More In Exchange.
Is This World So Insecure With Their Lives?
Does Honesty Burn The Mind That Bad?

I May Speak Truth Or I May Speak Opinion. But Life Is So Corrupted That It May Not Be Noticeable.

I Have Been Thinking About Life A Lot Lately. I Know It Will Sound Like I'm Depressed And All That, But I Am Not.
Anyways,I Thought About How People Affect Me. How My Emotions Get The Best Of Me, I Always think About That Stuff. I Am Starting To Get Confused A Lot Because I Don't Want To Have Emotions, I Want To Get Rid Of Them. I Have Numbed Up A Few Of Them To Where I Just Don't Care About Anything Really. Which Is Really Bad For Me. [(For My Poems Anyways I Haven't Thought About A Good Poem Since Well A Few Weeks Ago. The Ones That I Have Posted Are Old.)] I Get Really Irritated Easily With My Mom. But The Punishments That I Get, Which Is Just Basically Being Yelled Back At, I Just Don't Mind. But My Actions Don't Show That. I Think My Body Is So Use To Caring That It Works Without My Brain Helping It Or Something. Because Well I Can't Focus Much Anymore. I Would Just Think. And If I'm Walking I Would Bump Into People, Even when I Notice Them. I Can't Remember Much Anymore Because I Just Don't Really Care. I Can't Pay Attention 'Cause I'm Too Busy Thinking About My Life.
I Think I Need a Shrink!

I Noticed That Only My Anger Gets The Best Of Me. I Don't Get Happy Because Apparently I'm Missing Joy In My Life. I Don't Want To Deal With Emotions, To Have The Pain Of Heart Brakes, The Embarrassment Of Humiliation, Ect.

I Get Confused Because Nothing Adds Up In My Head. I Can't Figure Out How To Get Them All Numbed Up.
Because Of My Personality Of Being The Leader
( Which I Don't Really Show In My Actions) I Have To Just Retaliate To Words Thrown At Me. Then I Get Really Pissed Off At Myself For That Action. Which Ends Up With Me Thinking Of How To Not End Up Reacting To It. Which I Get Confused About Cause I Do Not Have That Self Control. I Guess It Will Take Me Awhile To Really Get Control Of Myself. I Mean Come On I'm Only Thirteen. In Angered Situations With My Family I Normally Win Because I Know How To Use My Words To Find Your WeakNess And Make You Break. I Also Realize That I Can Only Think About These Things When I'm Alone And It's Quiet. I Can't Concentrate.I Keep People Out Of My Head. For Even If I Explain These Things To You. You Will Never Understand. I Don't Like Attention. I HATE It When People Ask Me What Is Wrong. I Will End Up Thinking Of 10 Ways Of How To Kill You. Don't Ever Explain Useless Things To Me. Unless I Ask, Cause Then You Are Using Up Valuable Space In My Memory, That I Could Be Using For More Important Useless Things.

I Like To Figure Things Out. Like My Life And How It Works. How I can Get Set Off. How It Feels To Be This Way And What Happened To Make Me Feel That. I Observe People And See How They React To Things And I Try To Get Inside Their Head. I Like To Be Alone .. Have Peoples Presences Out Of My Reach. I Like Being This Way. But I Want To Know Why. So I'm Stuck Thinking About My Life And Existence.
Curiosity Kills The Cat!

I Remember When I Never Wanted Anyone Inside My Head/Life. Well They can't Really Know If They Never Read These And Asked Me.. I Feel Like I Don't Know Myself. I Know That These Are Confusing A Bit. But I Feel Like I Just Have To Get It Out.
Maybe That Is Why I'm Searching So Hard